Category Archives: #mummingit

Instagood

With so much pressure on life through the means of social media and the relentless posts about the best 2% of everyones life I was all set to leave social media for good. I felt it was actually negatively impacting on my mental health. The pressure to stay perfect, be the perfect parent, go the the right events, like the right photos- who has the time for this in a normal world?

Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of celebrating the genuine (non boasty) successes of my friends and family and hearing about what they have been up to but when every post is talking about how amazing their gifted and gorgeous child is it actually gives me the boak.

We all love our children but lets be honest- none of us/them are perfect. To portray this to other parents is just BS. Its not only BS but puts a silent pressure on others to conform to what may be perceived as perfect parenting- putting you child down for every club know to man, signing them up for 3 instruments, reading them Peace and War and generally indulging them in every past time known to man and beast with the view to flaunting your childs fabulousness over FB. All of our children are unique and amazing in their own way and as a parent its for you to know that. If you child is a spelling wizard and your sons friend has severe dyslexia how do you think that will make her feel? She certainly isn’t going to ‘buzzing’ that your child aced his test, she’s more than likely going to worried sick about whether her child felt shit at getting 2/10 (again).

We have probably all been guilty of it (me included) so I’m making a conscious effort to not become intoxicated in my own exuberance.

With this being said I was on a mission to dig deep into the cleaning cupboard and give social media one last chance, in the form of Instagram. I was on the hunt for cleaning tips and the elusive @theorganisedmum.

When last I wrote I was taking up the cleaning mantle. Following in the sparking footprints of the greats such as @Mrshinch and @littlemissmops. The thought of relishing in minke’d surfaces and Zoflora would have been laughable to me, even as little as 3 weeks ago.

I have a cleaner who comes fortnightly and until 2 weeks ago this always seemed enough- to keep my floors and bathroom clean was good enough for me.  I could cope with the rest of the minor cleaning aspects and happily cleaned with distain.

Well, since my introduction to the fabulous world of Instagram and the cleaning sensations sweeping my feeds I have never felt so enthused and motivated to clean. Not to sound like a complete saddow but I’m actually loving life.

I know this sounds crazy but keeping my house clean has given me a new purpose. I feel like when the house is clean, the drawers organised and dinner in the slow cooker I am winning at life. I honestly love it! I never thought the sound of a new Zoflora scent or finding Bar Keepers Friend in liquid form would give me so much joy but little by little its taking over my life. The negative connotations about perfectionism from Social Media has disappeared. I know, I know… an oxymoron I hear you cry? How could cleaning my house, organising and learning with my child make me feel less pressure to oblige to these societal demands? I HAVE NO CLUE. I feel no pressure I just do as I see! Its not fake its just fulfilling for some really strange reason.

Don’t get me wrong, there have been some downsides. I now feel OBSESSED with disinfecting everything, I had an allergic reaction to a product (still unknown) which caused an elephant man effect on my face and I am sacrificing some of my free time (but to be honest I would most likely have been napping/ eating my way through a packet of biscuits so prob a good thing that!).

Not only has this Intagram inspired cleaning craze impacted on the cleanliness of my home but its also given me a lease for life in different things. Im following fellow mummy bloggers (who talk real life and shitty nappies as opposed to superstar kids), teachers and craft minded individuals. Im taking part in learning through play related activities with Charlotte and its meaning I’m spending far more quality time with her. I feel like Instagram has not only inspired me to clean but also to be a better Mum and teacher.

So, to sum it all up… Instagood: bloggers, pics, ideas and no BS. Facebook not so good: to many free characters to post and talk absolute BS.

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Photo by Tracy Le Blanc on Pexels.com
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The Terrible Twos

Roll on round 2… 6 years apart. The last time I dealt with terrible twos I honestly cant remember what I did, said or how I parented and now I’m thinking its because its was such a bloody nightmare that my subconscious has blocked it from my memory.

Well, that’s Charlotte FINALLY HIT. Yes, like every other baby she had her spats of random outbursts but nothing could have prepared me for the other night.

It was my mother in laws 60th and I, being the great daughter in law that I am, decided to have a little shin dig in the house for the immediate famalam.

Things were going great, timings right for the food, drinks flowing, kids playing nicely and then boom. Knee deep in sausage rolls I could hear Charlotte upstairs in my sons room. Doesn’t sound too bad except from the fact, whilst trying desperately to be a cool Mum and knowing Lewis wasn’t a big sweets fan, I had given Lewis a sweet drawer.

By the time my mother in law got up there Charlotte was stuffing her face with any and every sugar treat she could lay her sticky little fingers on. With this in mind I decided to let her burn off that excess sugar rush with a late night. Oh my was I wrong.

Bad move Mum!!!

By the time things were winding down (8pm because come on I’m not that good a host) Charlotte was 1.5 hours over her bedtime and still running about like a crazed banshee.

Surrounded by a room of family (Stevens side) with me trying sheepishly to dress Charlotte into her pjs she had a record breaker meltdown. When I say meltdown I mean full scale rage mode.

Because I wasn’t expecting it I actually had no idea what to do. I ended up trying to carry her into my room, away from prying eyes, until I could work out how I was going to parent this. Of course I started off with the ‘restorative chat’ but she couldn’t hear a word I was saying through the screaming, I tried the cuddle to calm- nope, I tried the silence trick- good try and literally one black eye and burst lip later I lost it and just put her into her cot.

Whilst this fiasco was going on everyone cleaned away the party and prepared to leave, so hey not all so bad?

Yes I looked like I had been assaulted and yes I probably looked like a terrible parent however, it did get me thinking. Imagine if she does this in public where this is no ‘cot’ safety net? I have no clue what the best strategy for parenting in this situation is? I know the situation was triggered by sugar and a late night (something which will not be happening again I hope) but I’m no fool- this is the tip of the ice berg and I fully expected these irrational explosions to happen a bit more regularly over the next year.

Another unexpected development in mumming is that Charlotte has started stripping down in our house (and others) and asks “look at my botty?” or “wanna see my tummy?”. Now I know she hasn’t been exposed to anything unsavoury and this is just innocent child fun however it freaks me out a little. I found it really funny the first few times but now I’m panicking that this happens and causes an awks situation???

What I need to know is- what has worked for you? Give me your tips.

I can trial these per meltdown/strip and try and find the best to share. I know each child is different but surely these is a parenting style that can help calm a child down, let them feel listened to whilst also showing a model for how to act? Am I asking for too much?

Help a Mum out!!

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

 

 

Save Your Advice

Did you ever notice that almost as soon as you’ve inhaled the new baby smell from your little bundle of joy someone is there to offer ‘advice’?

From sleeping to eating there’s always a guaranteed trick to make you the perfect Mum with a baby that eats anything, sleeps all night and is toilet trained by 10 months.

The only advice that I would give to those so knowledgable; hold your lip until your asked.

Being a first time Mum is so hard without the constant second guessing and feelings of judgement. We know you mean well but put it in a different context- imagine you take on something new, a job perhaps. How would it feel if I came round and told you what you should be doing in your job, not supporting you and praising you for what you were doing well with?  I know you might have had four children and they all survived but do you know what: all children are different, times change and you have clearly forgotten how annoying the constant ‘advice’ part is!

For the first year (sometimes 2), my hormones are still a bit crazy. I’m flustered, sleep deprived and trying to wrestle with the idea of leaving my clingy child with someone else to raise whilst I return to work (which covers child care cost and only a little more!). I spend most of my (minimal) free time googling baby sleep training, healthy baby meals and baby milestones to make sure I am conforming to the expectations of society and doing all I can to help support my little growing human. Adding in the inevitable splash of baby blues, lack of social life and dwindling romance I don’t need the additional sh*t the your advice brings.

Its not that I don’t care about what you think, its because I care too much. What you think means a lot to me. Every word of advice makes me think I’m doing it wrong. Every look or laugh when I muck it up just reminds me there is always someone there to watch me fall.

So please save your advice and support me in the ways i really need (make me a coffee, offer to take a washing away, empty my dishwasher when you come for coffee or just hold my perfect little bundle of joy for ten minutes).